3:05PM

so um im moving to illinois next weekend. kevin sat with his fingers up his ass so it cost me like 100 bucks extra. oh well, hes cute so i forgive him. i went to illinois for three weeks and ive been home for two. i kinda hate it here. im glad to go back but its scary because im gonna have to be grown up and be on my own. im staying at paiges for three weeks then hopefully getting an apartment. i kinda forget to do this anymore its sad really. oh well ill be ok

2:39PM - im glad these exist again

LAST PERSON WHO
+ Slept in your bed: besides me...ken? i dunno i sleep in everyone elses beds
+ Saw you cry: kevin
+ Spent the night at your house: ken,kerry, mike, jacques and asian chris
+ You shared a drink with: kirston and melissa at kerrys party
+ You went to the movies with: hannah abby and maddie Over the hedge sooo good
+ You went to the mall with: my sister and the girls and my mom to get pictures.
+ Yelled at you: kevin
+ Sent you an e-mail: tangerine, they wanted me to go clubbin for some supermodels birthday
HAVE YOU EVER...
+ Said "I love you" and meant it? YES
+ Been to New York? yes
+ Been to Florida? no i will never
+ California? yes
+ Hawaii? no
+ Mexico? yes
+ China? no
+ Canada? yes
+ Danced naked? who hasnt
+ Dreamed something really crazy and then it happened the next day? its not usually the next day but a couple days after
+ Got a really bad feeling about something then it happened? Yeah, that happens a lot.
+ Had your heart broken? yep
+ Been the heart breaker? yep
+ Wish you were the opposite sex? i think if i could just pee standing up too i wouldnt wanna be a boy
+ Had an imaginary friend? no
RANDOM
+ What are you going to do after you finish this survey? hopefully make plane reservations
+ What was the last food you ate? lo mein
+ High school or college? College
+ Are you bored? nope
+ How many buddies are on? 5 and 10 away
+last movie you saw? the heathers
+ Last noise you heard? jerk from ra on the phone
+ Last time you went out of the state: 2 weeks ago
+ Do you have a crush on someone? a super duper one
+ Do they know? yes they do
+ What's his/her name? kevin
+ Does s/he know who you are? yep,but sometimes he forgets me.
+ What book are you reading now? a huge book or short stories of terror
+ Favorite board game? outta control
+ Favorite magazine? newsweek
+ How many times have you been in love? once with a boy
+ Worst feeling in the world? guilt
+ What is the first thing you think when you wake in the morning? ugh its 5:30 and kevins calling again :)
+ How many rings before you answer? depends who it is
+ Do you sleep with a stuffed animal? No.
+ If you could have any job you wanted, what would it be? i have no idea
+ Are you a lefty, righty or ambidextrious? Righty
+ Do you type with your fingers on the right keys? no
+ What's under your bed? some allen wrenches and a sword
+ Hair Color: brown
+ Eye Color: brown
+ Height Currently: 5’6"
+ Glasses/contacts: no
+ Current Age:19
+ Location: my house
+ Best Friends: paige
+ Boyfriend/Girlfriend: not yet
+ Are You Timely Or Always Late: On time
+ Do You Have A Job: not at the moment
+ Do You Like Being Around People: i hate being alone
+ Have you ever loved someone you had no chance with: no
+ Have You Ever Cried Over What Someone of The Opposite Sex Did: yep
+DoYou Have A "Type" Of Person You Always Go After: no
+ Want Someone You Don't Have Right Now: yep
+ Are You Lonely Right Now: yes
+ Ever Afraid You'll Never Get Married: yes
+ Do You Want To Get Married: Yes.
+ Do You Want Kids: no.

FAVORITE
+ Room In house/apartment: My bedroom.
+ Type of music: all kinds
+ Day Of The Week: tuesday
+ Color: brown
+ Month: june
+ Season: summer
IN THE LAST 48 HOURS, HAVE YOU:
+ Cried: yes
+ Bought Something: plane ticket for kevin
+ Gotten Sick: No
+ Sang: YES!
+ Said I Love You: Yes.
+ Wanted To Tell Someone You Loved them, But Didn't: yes
+ Met Someone New: yep.
+ Moved On: planning it
+ Talked To Someone: yep
+ Had A Serious Talk: yep
+ Missed Someone: Yes.
+ Hugged Someone: Yes.
+ Kissed Someone: No.
+ Fought With Your Parents: No.
+ Dreamed About Someone You Can't Be With: yep
+ Had a lot of sleep: Nope.

12:06AM

im sorry i didnt get to say goodbye but ill love you forever and i miss you already

Current mood: destroyed

12:08AM

k im never updating my journal again cuz everytime i do it goes crazy

11:47PM

this will be a picture post since im lazy.

first is my birthday at margaritaville. notice the ginormous margarita next to me so good




then its my birthday hangout at my house actually this came first





then me and kelly took a roadtrip



then i got a really really bad sunburn


but im better now
the end

6:11AM

lets see sunday was my birthday. i was pumped for this one, as it had some potential to rock but then it turned out like every other birthday.
we were supposed to have a party for me saturday night but due to the stupidity of someone friday night, there is no longer partying at the apt.
so then we had to stop at melissas friends hotel party. it was a bunch of 9th adn 10th grad wanna be skater punks who all thought they were cool for smoking and drinking beer. so we stayed about 20 mintutes before we all about died. and i was in heels that night adn a fancy dress so i was dying.
ill try to get some pictures uploaded later i cant find my camera. but hannah called me at 1130 and john called me at 12. so then the boys were calling around trying to find parties when my mom called and asked if i was coming home because she was gonna stay at my stepdads if i was staying out. so i said i was staying out and we got some bacardi hurricane and headed back to my house.
i was in a bad mood already cuz it was a shitty night then ken was on the phone to sabrina all night adn then was like lets go pick her up. we are driving my little car adn he wants the 4 of us to go pick up sabrina and her friend, i was not happy. because kerry was driving and i didnt wanna be crammed with that bitch and her friend in the back seat of my car. so we ended up driving all the way over there and she didnt even answer the door or her phone. so i was double pissed
then we came back to my house and i just wanted to go to bed, but i had to take them home, it was like 5 and i was near tears because josh hadnt called yet (we broke up again for those of you who dont know. maybe for good this time but i hope not. i seriously miss him so much and i cannot live with only talking to him once a week like it is now. sorry im getting emo). so everyone was like kati you arent coming in? and i was like no im goin home. so they leave and kerry drives a stick so the e brake was on and it got stuck. so i lose it and start crying.
so i call kerry to ask him to come fix it and he says ok and he comes out the to car and gets in and i said its stuck and look over but its ken. and hes like whats wrong. they had been asking me this all night but i just said i was tired because i didnt wanna talk about it. so i said nothing and he keeps pestering me and i cry some more and eventually tell him a few of the things not all. and he tries to talk me into staying again but i really didnt want to sleep with him and james and kirston,so i went home.
then micah came and we went to margaritaville and kicked it for a while. that was pretty fun. and i hung out with them for a few nights picking out their clubbin clothes. but they left a day early so now im tryin to find someone to go to phoenix with me this weekend but everyone is busy. so if i cant then i wont get to see him again til may and ill be sad.
so all together my birthday mostly sucked. one of my tons of aunts and uncles called me and only three of my friends called to tell me happy birthday. next year will be better.
im getting pretty sick of everyone but ken and kerry though. mike and clarence lock themselves in their rooms and james is just an asshole. and the drunk girls who were once funny are now wearing on my nerves. maybe this is why i cant keep friends long because they just all start to drive me crazy. i dunno though, ken and kerry will be home tonight ill see them then.
ps. happy birthday alic

3:27PM - 3 days til my birthday!!

Gotta change my answering machine
Now that I'm alone
Cuz right now it says that we
Can't come to the phone
And I know it makes no sense
Cuz you walked out the door
But it's the only way I hear your voice anymore
(it's ridiculous)
It's been months
And for some reason I just
(can't get over us)
And I'm stronger than this
(enough is enough)
No more walkin round
With my head down
I'm so over being blue
Cryin over you

And I'm so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishing you were still here
Said I'm so sick of love songs so sad and slow
So why can't I turn off the radio?

Gotta fix that calender I have
That's marked July 15th
Because since there's no more you
There's no more anniversary
I'm so fed up with my thoughts of you
And your memory
And how every song reminds me
Of what used to be

That's the reason I'm so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishing you were still here
Said I'm so sick of love songs so sad and slow
So why can't I turn off the radio?

(Leave me alone)
Leave me alone
(Stupid love songs)
Dont make me think about her smile
Or having my first child
I'm letting go
Turning off the radio

Cuz I'm so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishing she was still here
Said I'm so sick of love songs so sad and slow
So why can't I turn off the radio?

3:51AM

it amazing how wonderful everything goes at the end of february and i get excited about how great my birthday is going to be finally finally. and then everything goes to shit, every fuckin year. i was so excited but why should this be any different. its not who i am. its not who i am going to be, i just cant have a happy birthday.

2:44PM

today is national pancake day, so we got free pancakes from IHOP. they were way better that not free pancakes. so guess what all you haters, you can get stuff for free.


fuck shoes

2:22PM

fuck valentines day

6:41AM

ok so i love this song, its cheesy pop punk but it has an amazing message and its something i need to work on.
Go ahead as you waste your days with thinking
When you fall everyone sins
Another day and you've had your fill of sinking
With the life held in your
Hands are shaking cold
These hands are meant to hold

Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
Move along
Move along

So a day when you've lost yourself completely
Could be a night when your life ends
Such a heart that will lead you to deceiving
All the pain held in your
Hands are shaking cold
Your hands are mine to hold

Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
Move along
(Go on, go on, go on, go on)

When everything is wrong we move along
(Go on, go on, go on, go on)
When everything is wrong, we move along
Along, along, along

When all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through

5:57AM

ok so my mom is in hawaii that means i had the house to myself. i came up with the bright idea to have a party. so a month of planning 2 days of frustration and stressing and about 2 hours of hopelessness the first person shows up. that means me and court and kelly and ariel and it gets later and later and ariel has to go to some thing with the football team or whatnot something boy like and i'm dying because i worked really hard and no one is here.

as he is leaving azn chris shows up with 5 cars of people to save my day. a while ago we went to some kick backs and met amazing people and they all came over and it got fun. courtney was having sad problems over cliff and was on a mission to get drunk and have meaningless make outs. and she had a few. but there's this guy named ken so f-in hot. and she was trying to make out with him but he wasn't having it. which i thought was great because i wanted to make out with ken and court is prettier than i am.

later a bunch of people left so it was court passed out drunk jacques passed out upstairs on my bed, which made me sad because ken had been flirting with me all night EEEEP and he said he was gonna sleep in my bed with me and me and mike and azn chris and ken were d/s.

then the boys taught me and my white girl self how to slow dance and then ken taught me how to crip walk, yes i was crip walking what. and then mike who has a girlfriend was flirting with me the whole night to so i was trying not to act like ken was f-ing hot because they are roommates and i didn't want them to get mad or something i dunno.

then ken fell asleep on the couch and we went out to watch the sunrise but there were bats so i got scared and came inside and then they came in after the sunrise and went to bed but i cant sleep on the floor so i was awake then everyone else woke up and i made pancakes and then everyone left at like one.

but before the pancakes kerry kens other roommate called and said they got in trouble with the night manager and couldnt have the party for jacques there because hes leaving for boot camp thursday and me and all my dumbassness said let's just have it here there's tons of alcohol left, because there was. so everyone came back at like 11 but with more people and kerry came this time so that was nice and tons more azns

the boys drank 2 bottles of jagermeister and were doing shots of tequila like crazy. and they were all like kati do shots with us and i was like no sick so every time they did a shot they made me drink a glass of orange soda and vanilla vodka and i got really drunk like hannah drunk

everyone was dancing and playing rock paper scissors and i'm the only single girl there and i never get boy attention so i'm loving it and ken is standing close and making me drink his drinks and mike is like "if i didn't have a girl friend i would holla at you for real" he lives with three black guys so he can say stuff like this. and i was like aw

did i mention ken can sing and mike can rap so they do these little duets of things they made up. and then everyone leaves again so its azn chris jacques kerry ken and mike and mike is really bad because he did a lot of shots and wants to walk home

oh ya they live close to me which makes me really happy because now i can have friends that i can hang out with all the time because they arent far away but still hes drunk and anyways he sneaks off so chris and ken go look for him and me and jacques wait for him to get back because kerry had to leave because some fat girls were at his house looking for him so he was gonna get them and bring them back

but then they didn't come back so i was like wtf is mike ok but really they had to take care of one of the fat drunk girls and mike so they left at like 6 and came back at like 9 then i gave them the alcohol because obv i can't have it here and then they left and then ken started texting me and we texted til about 12

holy crap we are gonna be "teammates" with all the dirtiness it implies. so i am crapping my pants excited. this boy is hot. i seriously can't believe i landed him. this entry is pretty much my longest one ever. hannah will be proud. my mom comes back tuesday which will be nice because its lonely when there's no one around.

2:09AM

happy 18th birthday luke!
go buy some porn.

also, what is your address

1:05AM

so i was in illinois for a month. josh mostly locked me away in the room like rapunzel. i saw maddie a lot, hung with paige some and not enough with hannah. i saw my grandma and aunt. filled them in. had some family issues. now im home and things are back to normal unfortunately. i am not doing well at all this week. i went to a party last night and met some great kids but still i wasnt me. my phone is broken so i miss it alot. thats about it. oh ya i know that noone in las vegas reads this but im having a party next weekend if you guys wanna come you are all invited. hopefully that will be awesome.

4:25PM

dear joshua tyler scott,
happy birthday. i will see you soon
love,
kati

4:27PM

im stealing from hannah cuz i like it

Jan:i feel like crying for a while, then slitting my throat.
Feb:everything about you is a picture worth a thousand words.
Mar:my journal has returned like a phoenix....ressurrected from the ashes
Apr:mind if i die for a while? no? thanks.
May:i havent had a computer for about 924857 days. nothing really new.
Jun:just got back from cali.
Aug:this week has been fun because liz decided it would be cool to e stalk hannah.
Sep:today started out ok.
Oct:im seeing reggie and the fuckin full effect in like 45 minutes bitches.
Nov:ok now im miserable once again.
Dec: http://www.reviewjournal.com/lvrj_home/2005/Sep-29-Thu-2005/living/3513465.html


Jan: I have no idea
Feb: Brandtson lyrics
Mar: Apparently i quit my journal i bet that lasted all of 1 week
Apr: I need to quit being so vague
May: I was staying at my grandmas
Jun: My one shoulder got super burnt from driving
Aug: Holy shit that was funny as hell, i forgot! HANNAH!
Sep: It didnt end ok
Oct: I didnt get to see them, i had to be somewhere cuz they were late.
Nov: Josh left that day
Dec: Im in the paper!


mine wasnt as cool as hannahs, im too vague, ill work on that next year, itll be my resolution.

12:55AM

today we got a box turtle. hes so flippin cute. his name is cabbie, short for cab driver. when he gets bigger we are going to paint him yellow and checkered like a cab, and talk to him in accents, but thats getting racist. sorry if the pics clog your friends page.

this is where he lives, i built him a garage. hes so cute and smallish.

hes kinda sleepy his eyes are half closed.

look at his itty bitty tail. how cute are his little feet too.

this just shows how little he is, ignore my stupid face. god damn he is cute and awesome. we almost just lost him though cuz he dug in his stuff and we couldnt find him for a while.

also you guys should leave me comments because i havent gotten any in a long time.

4:52PM

http://www.reviewjournal.com/lvrj_home/2005/Sep-29-Thu-2005/living/3513465.html

im famouser than you now.
more famous.
whatever.

11:10PM

im trying so hard to make you happy. i dont know what else to do. i want to give up because it feels like thats what you want. i want you to move on if it will make you happy. i just dont think i could afford to lose you. please just tell me you love me.